Understanding Your Toddler’s Emotions: The Power of Listening at the Dinner Table

Tonight at the dinner table, I witnessed something both simple and profound—something that reminded me just how important it is to slow down and truly see our children.

As my wife and I were talking and my daughter was engaged in the conversation, my three-year-old son suddenly began to show signs of intense frustration. He rubbed his head and face repeatedly, clearly overwhelmed by a wave of emotions. At first, it caught me off guard.

When my daughter was dismissed from the table, I turned my full attention to him and gently asked, “What are you feeling?”

His answer: “I don’t know.”

I kept asking, giving him space, hoping to help him put words to his experience. He said he was feeling “sad and mad,” but still couldn’t tell me why. As I continued to ask, gently prompting and guiding, my wife stepped away from the table, leaving just the two of us. That’s when it finally came out.

With a little help and some suggestions, he said:

“Because nobody was talking to me.”

In that moment, everything made sense.

He didn’t have the vocabulary or clarity to name his feelings without help. But when he was finally given permission, space, and the safety to process—he was able to express what was buried under the surface.

I told him, “So you were feeling left out? You felt alone?”

He looked at me and said, “Yes.”

So I apologized. I let him know I understood. I validated his feelings and asked, “Is there something you wanted to share?”

What happened next melted me.

He talked. Non-stop. For two whole minutes. It was the kind of joyful, silly, imaginative talk only a toddler could offer—full of meatloaf, mustard-in-the-eye, and water experiments with paper. It didn’t matter what he said. What mattered is that he was heard. He was seen.

And just like that—his entire demeanor changed.

The frustration was gone. The tension disappeared. He smiled. He laughed. We connected. Father and son, heart to heart.

That’s when it hit me:

Every child wants what every adult wants—to be heard, to feel important, and to know they matter.

Our kids may not always be able to explain what they’re feeling. Sometimes they don’t know the words. Other times they don’t feel safe enough to share. But when we take the time to slow down, ask the right questions, and sit with them in their feelings—we help them unlock something powerful.

We teach them that emotions aren’t scary. That they’re not alone. That their words are valuable.

And we model how to truly listen.

I’m learning more and more that our children are adults in training. And that means we must treat their thoughts with value, even if they don’t always make perfect sense. Because to them, their ideas matter just as much as our “grown-up” conversations matter to us.

This is how trust is built.
This is how emotional maturity is developed.
This is how relationships are strengthened—one moment at a time.

So next time your child is melting down or acting out, take a breath. Get curious. Ask questions. Offer suggestions. Help them name their feelings. And when they finally open up—listen with your heart.

Because that moment of connection may be exactly what they needed to feel whole again.