Helping Your Child Express Emotions: The Key to Ending Whining
Have you ever heard the whining sound of air escaping through a partially blocked vent? It creates an irritating noise until the blockage is removed, allowing the air to flow freely. This is a perfect analogy for a child’s whining—it’s often a symptom of clogged emotions that need to be expressed.
As parents, it’s easy to become frustrated when our children whine. I used to ask my 3-year-old son, “Why are you whining? Please stop whining. What’s wrong?” But none of these questions seemed to help. The whining continued, and I began to realize that he was experiencing an emotional blockage—feelings he didn’t yet have the words to express.
Through observation, I noticed that his whining spells followed multiple situations that triggered emotions he couldn’t verbalize. So one day, I decided to help him work through it. I walked him through different scenarios and suggested emotions that he might be feeling.
To my surprise, when I suggested an emotion, he responded, “Yes, that’s what I felt!” Then, as we continued, he was able to identify another feeling on his own. After expressing three different emotions and feeling heard, something remarkable happened—the whining stopped.
I made sure to validate his emotions by saying, “I understand how you feel. I might feel the same way if that happened to me.” After acknowledging his emotions and giving him a hug, he felt loved, affirmed, and at peace. And then, in return, he said, *Daddy, I love you.”
This process takes time, effort, and patience, but it teaches children a crucial skill: how to recognize, express, and process their emotions in a healthy way. When a child whines, they’re often experiencing an emotional bottleneck, much like that clogged vent. The only way to restore the free flow of emotions is through healthy expression and validation.
